You're kidding, right?

I need to rant.

I was pointed to an article on the BBC website about artificial turf lawns being an environmentally friendly alternative to grass lawns. You know the stuff, they were in the 'organics' section of Canada blooms this year. The argument is that, for people in desert climates, this way they can have green grass without using water or pesticides or fertilizer. People with allergies can play on them without fear of hives. You can buy a variety (O my goodness I'm not kidding) which has antimicrobial... stuff... on it so that when your dog or cat urinates on it, it will KILL all the nasty odours. Can you feel my blood pressure rising at the very thought of this stuff? This is astroturf, my friends. They use old tires as backing so it's nice and bouncy when you fall on it. It's made from petroleum. It's artificially coloured with artificial colouring things. Atheletes are told it's safe to play on -- so long as they wear protective clothing and are certain to wash any scrapes or cuts immediately after coming into contact with the stuff. They wouldn't want any of those nasty chemicals actually getting into a valuable athelete's bloodstream. I'm not sure it would pass a doping test.

And they want me to put it in my yard for my children to play on? For me to walk on? Are they out of their minds? How can they get away with labeling this stuff environmentally friendly?

This has got to be greenwashing with a capital "G", which rhymes with "T", and that stands for TROUBLE.

So you live in a desert. Why are you putting grass down? Try xerascaping. Try planting a cactus. Try a rock garden, for goodness sake. Try working with nature instead of against it.

In my yard, nature works best with clover and dandelion. I'm working with it.